A Valentine’s Day Musing

Over the years I’ve frequently been asked for advice on this farming life. I’ve been pondering my thoughts since Chris Smaje wrote to his younger farming self on his blog, Small Farm Future, and an acquaintance asked me to be on his radio show to discuss my experiences.

As I sift through my farm memories — the tragedies and successes, the wasted resources and the careful stewardship — one constant stands out: a partner who shares in the work and joy of running a small farm.

Without her buy-in, none of this would be possible. I don’t say this as a romantic nod to Valentine’s Day. In my modest way, I hope that I also give good value. I say it because, to my mind, too many relationships have no element of true partnership.

Farm life, with its intense need for coordination, either enhances the cooperation essential to any successful relationship or brings stresses that will tear that relationship apart when the goals and the vision are not shared. Much of modern life involves “farming” out the labor to others. Life lived on a small farm is quite the reverse: we build the fences, we tend to the veterinary needs of the livestock, we preserve the food, we work the long hours for little monetary compensation.

Over time, I have had a few farming acquaintances in which only one shared the desire for a farming life, and it can be done. But for one person to take on all the work, the load becomes a drudgery instead of a shared pleasure in accomplishment. Without a partner, the family and the larger community never coalesce.

And what of the rewards — beef raised in the nearby pasture, produce from the gardens, fruit from the orchard? True and complete satisfaction is only achieved when the bounty is shared with someone who participated fully in the production.

When embarking on a life on the farm, by all means dream of an idyllic world of fresh veggies and just-laid eggs. We certainly did, and to a large part still do. But I also suggest a test to determine the compatibility of your partner for the farming life. In a race against the clock to provide shelter for a very pregnant sow, stand outside in a blowing snow for several long hours building a farrowing hut. You will quickly learn a few things about the work ethic and temperament of your beloved.

Here is my best farming advice to you: Share this life with someone who can handle with equanimity the occasional heartbreak at the inexplicable death of a newborn lamb, the endless abundance of your gardens, and the true joy of being a good steward to the land and your charges.

………………………………………………………………………………

Reading this weekend: Old Southern Apples by Creighton Lee Calhoun, Jr.

FollowEmail this to someoneFollow on FacebookFollow on Google+Tweet about this on TwitterFollow on LinkedIn

6 thoughts on “A Valentine’s Day Musing

  1. Nicely put, Brian. I had similar thoughts when Maree and I were planting trees on a steep, slippery slope, rain and temperature just above 0C with some wind chill thanks to the southerly blowing from Antarctica. Just about smell the penguin poo.

    • It is the wind, more than anything, eh? Evocative use of penguin poo, thanks, I think I can smell it today. The ground outside the study is covered in ice with a bit more freezing rain before it gradually warms later. Spring, spring, spring!

  2. That’s a great addition to the list of sensible things one need consider for a successful agrarian living. The distribution of labor on a working farm is not a constant handed down over time. Indeed even within a family experience the various chore responsibilities will change as children gain experience or even the physical presence to accomplish various tasks. Something like making hay can illustrate – the 8 year old might drag bales across the barn loft floor; his 12 year old brother might be stacking them or handing them up to Dad for stacking. In the field driving a tractor pulling a hay rack can be accomplished by a young teen, but the mowing of the hay in the first place requiring a bit more sophisticated experience. And loading a 1800 pound steer into a trailer… better left to someone weighing in over a hundred pounds themselves.

    But no matter how the labor is distributed in detail, it is the warmth of common success and the happiness brought by enjoying the fruits of their labor which you mention so succinctly that brings a certain fulfillment to the whole lifestyle.

    Thanks for the message!

    • Glad to oblige, Clem. You really have the background with your family to offer those type of insights. But growing up in a big family we divided all the chores by age and to a degree by sex. I remember as a kid feeling excited when I graduated to the next level of work. Made me feel valued.

  3. Nicely put Brian. That’s another one I should have added to my list…especially since I’m here looking after the farm on my own for a week and marveling at how little work I seem to get done each day.

    • Chris,
      Thanks for the comment and hope you are dealing with being on your own without resorting to new spats with the ecomodernists.
      Cheers,
      Brian

This author dines on your input.

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.