Fatigue

If there is a better word for our 2020 zeitgeist, well, I am too tired to think of it. As we creep toward December 31, fatigue has spread across the land. Like a plague miasma in a Gothic novel, it leaves each of us fevered and unwilling to face the hard work of our daily lives, much less the world at large. We do not have enough weak and trembling fingers to point at all of the demons in the mist, even to identify the one who is reflected back to us in the mirror.

Our day-to-day existence seems depressed by the larger circumstances of this crisis year. Friends facing health concerns wait crucial months for treatments. Family evacuate the comfort of their homes from impending hurricanes or wildfires, and still look forward to a long and difficult recovery. Elderly relatives don’t get visited for fear of contamination or because vague distant bureaucrats have issued unclear, sometimes unfounded parameters (Is it better at an advanced age to die cloistered and alone or from a disease contracted while sitting with and holding the hand of a family member?). These frequent short circuits to everyday living — overlayed by the impending elections, imploding civic life, economic uncertainties, and shortages of the small necessities of average life — fatigue our waking moments.

This year even more than usual, the farm has been a refuge. I have had more time for projects, gardens, interactions with my partner, and all the things that have made this life, frankly, pretty special. Even so, at times it seems as if the blue sky is the eye of the storm. I get out and get the work done, I sit on the porch and enjoy the birdsong, but only before the next wave of bad news hits and leaves debris in its wake.

Such as it is for our race and always has been: brief blue skies before war, pestilence, and hunger sweep back across the land. Yet, we moderns have by and large lived our lives sheltered from the worst. And it has made us soft. We complain about the hangnail, not imagining that a cancer awaits us all. Our fatigue arises from our failure to recognize that history is not only a cycle but also a hurricane. A moment of seeming separation from history does not provide immunity from its winds. Ours is the delusion of the moviegoer, that the dynamics outside have been suspended while we sit in a cushy chair, entertained, in the darkness.

I am not afraid. But it is disconcerting to speculate that the blue sky we have lived under for most of our lives will be going away. History has proven it so.

Farming, for me, has been the practical vaccine for what ails. My optimism is tempered by the expected catastrophe. Out of that mix comes whatever happens. Better to stand, no matter how fatigued, and meet it with resolve, even if it destroys what we have loved.

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Reading this weekend: Local Culture: a journal of the Front Porch Republic (The Christopher Lasch issue).

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BTW: Brutus, fellow blogger, at The Spiral Staircase, paid us a farm visit. That in turn inspired his next post, broadly about dogs and always about more than the main topic. https://brutus.wordpress.com/2020/10/15/a-dogs-life/

Landfall (again)

A picture of a crawfish boil seemed appropriate

Tonight, my hometown of Lake Charles, Louisiana prepares for the landfall of Laura. I have more than a dozen family members in the path. Fortunately all have evacuated. But it is uncertain what they will return to face. Keep them in your thoughts and prayers. The nervous waiting until landfall and what the sun will show tomorrow reminded me of this piece I wrote after Hurricane Harvey (2017). Be well and I’ll return with something new on Sunday.

Growing up on the Gulf Coast, where life was measured by the big storms, your given name could serve as a handy marker of your age. Post-1957, Audrey disappeared from the lists of incoming elementary pupils almost entirely. After ’69, no one named their child Camille.

In the hallway of our home in Lake Charles, Louisiana, hung a map. On it we plotted the latitude and longitude of each new disturbance as it sprang to life off the African coast or in Mexico’s Gulf of Campeche. My older brother, always a bit of a weather nut, actively tracked the storms. He would often plot an apocalyptic path to our door, then erase the hoped-for trajectory with a “there is always next year” shrug when the storm petered out or went off to blight someone else’s life. It’s not that he ever wished harm on anyone. There’s just something seductive about the destructive power of a hurricane. It’s like watching a Powerball lottery grow, except that the payoff is something that no one really wishes to win.

This past week it was my extended family in Beaumont and Houston who won that lottery, and recipients of the winning tickets will still be dealing with the aftermath in years to come. Harvey is just one in a long list of tropical storms and hurricanes that have recently resulted in 500-to-1,000-year floods in the South: Houston (2010, 2015), Baton Rouge (2016), Columbia, South Carolina (2015), the Carolinas (2016). Sadly, epic floods account for only a handful of the extreme events now occurring with increasing frequency across the globe, and it looks as if this nasty-weather lottery will only keep building to a stronger payout with each daily contribution made to the fund of planetary climate change.

As the waves of Harvey hit the Texas shoreline, likewise a predictable wave of finger-pointing washed ashore. Seems that a certain segment of the population confused the larger community of devastated coastal residents with the lesser community that had voted for Donald Trump, and proceeded to say that they had gotten what they deserved —blaming the whole of Gomorrah on just its naughty residents.

This holier-than-thou attitude rankles me. Because, let’s face it, whether we fall into the camp of climate-change deniers, with their heads buried firmly in the sand, or climate-change acknowledgers, staring in awe as the storm approaches, virtually none of us is doing anything significant to change the planet’s trajectory of catastrophe or to prepare for its impact.

Both camps, by and large, are still active participants in the consumer-industrial machine. Unless we have gone Amish or medieval, we depend on the people of the Gulf Coast for our cushy life. Our great collective illusion of progress is that we can continue to enjoy our current lifestyle simply by making the correct purchasing choices or pulling a lever in the voting booth, that we can use magic or tweak our way out of this mess. We can’t. That life is no longer sustainable.

According to that map hanging in the world’s hallway, the potentially cataclysmic future — for earth and, consequently, for humanity — has now passed the Leeward Islands and is picking up speed and strength. No wiping the grease board when a fantasy destructive track changes its course.

We all have bought into this lottery, and we all are at risk of winning it. So, if there is to be finger-pointing, let’s do it facing the mirror. And in the meantime, fill your bathtub with water, stock your larder, and prepare for landfall.

Going Home: A 2006 Journey, Part 2

This is the second of a three-part installment recounting a trip I took to Louisiana 14 years ago. Since travel this year is either perilous or completely joyless, I have stayed home instead of making my annual migration to Lake Charles. The three posts were copied mainly as written from my farm journals. 

Cold Dixie longneck in hand? Or maybe a freshly made Sazerac? Then let’s go.

My trek across Northeast Louisiana culminated in spending an unremarkable night in Pineville. Pineville is just across the Red River from Alexandria — the city at the center, though not the heart, of the state. This morning, I woke up early and left the pinewoods and Pentecostals behind, crossed over the river, and turned left on LA 1.

I start the day by working my way through the river district of Alexandria, where the old warehouses, juke joints, and shotgun houses gradually give way to middle-class black neighborhoods on the south side of the city. LA 1 winds alongside the Red River on the way to Baton Rouge. Like all small highways ghosted by the interstate system, this one is infinitely preferable and more soul satisfying to drive, leaving me plenty of time to absorb the landscape and history.

After his defeat at Mansfield in April of 1864, General Nathaniel Banks and his army retreated south on the river, with the plan of regrouping at the Union-occupied stronghold of New Orleans. Unfortunate for Banks, however, the massive flotilla of boats presented a 200-mile slow-moving shooting gallery for pursuing Confederate troops. Four of the six great-great uncles on my mother’s Lewis side participated. (The fifth uncle had died in the bloody Mansfield engagement. The sixth son, my great-grandfather, was too young to enlist and instead carried mail for the Confederate government.) The Northern loss to the smaller and outgunned Southern army — most Louisiana regiments fought with hunting shotguns loaded with buckshot — left Banks in disgrace, and he hunkered down in New Orleans for the duration of the conflict, consoled with the old-world comforts of that city.

A few miles out of Alexandria, I turn onto a remnant of the old river road. The route is a carriage’s width and the area sporadically settled. Modest homes with large gardens, flocks of chickens, horses, and pecan orchards are all overhung with live oaks and Spanish moss, signaling the transition into Acadiana. The beauty and serenity of the river and levee have me thinking, I could live here.

It is April and the first hay has already been cut and is laying in the fields. At 7:30 in the morning, already hot, I have the window open to smell the rich curing of the forage.

The river road will continue on to the southeast, but my destination points elsewhere. I turn off on another small road and head across Rapides Parish, through the small towns of Latanier and Lecompte, where I stop for pie at Lea’s Lunchroom. At the risk of starting a fight, let me just be clear, the piemaker’s art is most evidently on display when making an old-fashioned meringue. A covered crust pie is all fine and dandy, but let us see the steep white waves of meringue with high brown peaks atop banana or coconut filling and we soon separate the men from the boys. That Lea’s is in the Louisiana Food Hall of Fame for its pies — which, shall we all now admit, is several orders higher than being in the Ohio Food Hall of Fame — makes it worth the stop.

As the waitress sets down my coffee with a “breakfast” slice of coconut pie and “honeys” me, I’m reminded of a bit of family lore. Aunt Jo (she of the recent 100th birthday) tells the story of dining at Lea’s with her parents and sibling in the late 1920s, when her younger sister, Lucille, got up and danced the Charleston, to the amusement of one and all. [For those who knew Cille, they will know that dancing seems quite at odds with the more severe Baptist temperament she embraced in later years (starting from, say, age 8 until her death a few years ago).]

Back in my truck, I continue my journey. From here on, the land becomes flat again and the rice and crawfish fields begin to appear. My maternal grandfather was one of the early adopters of planting rice in flooded fields. He raised Early Prolific and Blue Rose varieties on 359 acres. Following the October 1929 Great Crash, he had $200 cash left over after paying the Federal Land Bank. He lost the farm soon after, then supported the family by working for the Civilian Conservation Corps during the Depression and later as a rice broker. His oldest daughter, my aunt, said he always regretted not being able to return to farming.

It is 11 a.m. as my truck rolls into Crowley, and I stop and ask for directions to the old Old Crowley Cemetery. I buy some flowers and head off to find my grandfather’s and grandmother’s graves, as well as those of his parents, my great-grandparents, all of the Roberts name. I tramp the cemetery for an hour in 90-degree heat. I come away as wilted as the flowers, yet unable to find the graves.

South from Crowley, I head for Lyons Point, a couple of dozen miles short of the gulf. It is here that on the night of September 27, 1819, 14 pirates of Jean Lafitte sailed up the Mermentau River and then up Bayou Queue de Tortue before attacking the plantation of my fourth great-grandfather, John Lyons. An article appeared on October 22 of that year in the New Orleans Courier, giving details of the raid and identifying marks on the slaves captured. There is a wealth of information on this particular raid, because it was a direct challenge to the authority of the new owners of Louisiana. The U.S. Navy dispatched the schooner Lynx to chase the villains. The Lynx caught up with them at Lafitte’s headquarters at Galveston Bay (then part of the Texas Republic). Lafitte hung the leader and turned over the rest of the men in a show of cooperation, disavowing any connection with the crime. He did, however, arrange for his lawyer to defend the men in New Orleans. The stolen slaves were returned to their owners and continued in slavery.

I leave Lyons Point (nothing to see now but a crossroads) and drive on toward Lake Charles. Passing through the community of Mermentau, I see a dozen pickups parked outside of C’est Bon, reminding me that it’s been a long time since Lea’s breakfast pie. I pull in and am soon eating both a plate of crawfish étouffée and a bowl of chicken sausage gumbo.

I finally arrive at my father’s home in Lake Charles in the early afternoon. My younger brother, Daniel, and I have coffee and talk until other siblings, in-laws, and nieces and nephews arrive. I spend the evening catching up on the family news before we all decamp for dinner at Pat’s of Henderson.

Driving the backroads of Louisiana is to wash in the rivers of time. The heroes and the villains are often related; indeed, they are often the same. Nothing is permanent in this landscape except the waters; nothing is stable, but all is of value; everything is kept, including the pasts.

No one leaves this state, even when they do.

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The next day I surveyed the damage from Rita (the previously posted Part 3 in this series).

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Reading this week: Lessons from History (Will and Ariel Durant) and The Culinary Plagiarist (Jason Peters). The latter is a cross between John Mortimer’s Rumpole series and Bernard DeVoto’s The Hour, and possibly the randy lovechild of P.G. Wodehouse and Dorothy Parker. It may not be everyone’s cup of tea, but it is certainly mine.

The Gathering

I’m off the farm this weekend at an undisclosed location deep in the woods of Acadiana at the annual gathering of my male relatives.

Outside the cabin a couple of nephews are throwing a football. While inside, another nephew snoozes while on the TV over his head plays the Georgia vs. Florida game. One brother is off for a hike as the other reads by the fire. And a couple of other relatives are taking a late afternoon nap after lunching on boudin and mustard greens. The final nephew is firing up the grill for dinner while a pot of red beans and rice simmers on the stove. Blue skies and cold temperatures presage an ideal fall evening ahead.

Enjoy your weekend, I’ll catch up with you next week.

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Reading this weekend: The Bankrupt Bookseller (Darling)

Ghosts at Moonrise

It’s been a homestead weekend on the farm — rendering fatback into lard, salting down pork bellies for bacon, harvesting crabapples and then making rosemary-crabapple jelly, all capped by watching a magnificent full moon rise over the hill pasture.

As I watch the moon emerge, I glimpse the shard of a boyhood memory. Sitting on the bank of Contraband Bayou, a mile back through the dark woods of the old Barbe property, I am 10 years old, and fishing for alligator gar around midnight, the light of another full moon laying out a path across the sluggish water.

The years between 8 and 12 are the best for boys. It’s a time when they are no longer kids (at least in their own eyes) and before the awkward teenage years of figuring out how to fit in. When they are just old enough to be gone all day during the summer and often out at night without occasioning a search party. When parents, glad to be shed of them, give them greater latitude to roam, and when any hints of what adulthood might entail are only lightning strikes over the horizon.

That the character of a boy’s life depends on the locale and time frame as much as on his parents and family, I am fully aware. It also depends on his reading habits. For there is a vast literature for boys (or there was, before literary sanitizers came into general use) to guide him in the spirit of adventure.

That literature, as much as the era and place, steered the ways in which I lived my youth. Days spent building forts, riding bikes across town on quiet streets, exploring the length and breadth of the bayou in a beat-up jon boat, running trotlines all night or fishing for bass all day. Alas, guided by such books, filching my father’s pipe tobacco and, from an old pipe found in a ditch, smoking it with my friends until the tears ran down our faces.

Tom Sawyer (he of the pipe instruction, among other wholesome activities) and other boyhood literary heroes loomed large in my imagination. Theirs were the templates for a well-lived life. I read scores of books during those years, and of them, five were my bibles: The Adventures of Tom Sawyer (Twain), Rascal: A Memoir of a Better Era (North), Ice Falcon (Ritchie), Rifles for Watie (Keith), and My Side of the Mountain (George).

How to survive being lost in a cave and then attend your own funeral. Build a canvas canoe in your own living room. Befriend a raccoon. Stow away with Vikings and explore medieval Iceland. Serve on both sides in the Civil War. Fall in love with a Cherokee girl. Run away from the city and live in the Catskills. All the life lessons I imagined I needed were found in those pages.

Indeed, each has shaped me in ways that I cannot fully touch, conjuring the ghost of memory, of innocence, of adventure, of a boy. One that even now I glimpse from time to time, usually, often, in the light of a full moon rising over the farm.

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Reading this past week: Three John Sandford mysteries, Holy Ghost, Bloody Genius, Neon Prey